Back in the days of vinyl records, record companies released expected hits on 7″ records, 45s. The hit went on the A side, and some misfit song the record company considered to have a commercial handicap went on the B side. Maybe the song didn’t fit in with the album, or maybe it lacked a strong hook. Something. Occasionally one of these B side songs would take off in popularity, but most of them withered in the shadows of the A side hits. B side songs became the purview of music connisseurs, collectors, assorted off-beat characters who ran record stores after everyone else moved on to digital technology. But every 45 had a B side, whether you knew the song or not. And people still collect them.

It reminds me of the news business. The record company sends them records, but the news people are like DJs who only play the A sides. According to the “experts,” people who listen to B sides are assorted off-beat characters otherwise known as “conspiracy theorists,” who, as everybody knows, are all overwrought and paranoid.

Those who believe that major world events result from planning are laughed at for believing in the “conspiracy theory of history.” Of course, no one in this modern day and age really believes in the conspiracy theory of history — except those who have taken the time to study the subject…Politicians and “intellectuals” are attracted to the concept that events are propelled by some mysterious tide of history or happen by accident. By this reasoning they hope to escape the blame when things go wrong.- Gary Allen [1]

The only way a tiny group of people ever came to control the physical world, and continue to control the physical world, is through mental deception and emotional manipulation. Here’s how. They create problems, secretly (the B sides). Then they talk about the problems nonstop using their corporate media, which blankets the whole wide world. They play the A sides over and over and over again. People dance. They tell us to dance faster. We do. We are terrified of these problems. We believe we caused them because experts keep telling us that we did. So we have no choice, we must listen to the experts, and they say dance, or else… Eventually, they tell us we can rest for a few minutes, they think they have a solution. Exhausted, we agree. We have to rest. Of course, they offer the solution they always wanted to the problem they created in the first place, but we don’t know that. That song, the one about how they created the problem, is on the B side, and the DJs don’t play that side. If they did, we wouldn’t dance, and they like to watch us dance. How fun for them. So as soon as we catch our breath, they put another A side hit on.

Greatest Hits: The Financial Crisis

A side: The economy will collapse because Americans are greedy, overzealous consumers who never know when enough is enough. Not everyone should own a home, you know.[2] OK, maybe some people made a few mistakes in the financial industry.[3] It happens. Like the banks stupidly lent to people they shouldn’t have.[4] But these are smart, talented people and we need to put our noses to the grindstone and get through this.[5] I mean, c’mon, who could have predicted?[6]

Dance step: Buck up, kids. Work harder.[7] Get a third job. Blame immigrants for your problems if you want,[8] but sorry, the banks are too big to fail.[9]

B side: The fiat money system has reached it’s mathematical limits and needs to taken down and replaced, somehow, with a new usurious debt trap run by our favorite families.[10] Hoo boy. Hopefully nobody will notice we ran the whole gig into the ground on purpose.[11] We’ll need to distract them. Big Time. Hey can somebody get the other records ready? We’re definitely gonna need them.

Liner notes:

Our money is an illusion. Except for coins, which compose only one ten-thousandth of the money supply, all of our money today consists of debt to private banks. Banks always take back more money in principal and interest than they put into the money supply as principal, making the system basically a pyramid scheme. After 300 years, this scheme has spread around the world and has now reached its mathematical limits. The whole world has been captured in the debt trap of a private international banking monopoly. - Ellen Brown [12]

We knew this would happen, and roughly when. Alan Greenspan began the process of creating enormous bubbles that will pop, we hope in a controlled-demolition sort of way, during the first decade of the millennium.[13] This will make a giant mess to justify scrapping our used-up jalopy fiat money system and replacing it with a brand new one world currency.[14] This will be our finest accomplishment, should we achieve it. By the way, failure is not an option. We’ll all be killed.[15]

We must relax credit for consumers, encouraging them to borrow and get into a lot of debt, debt beyond imagining, while simultaneously allowing financial institutions to buy and sell credit swaps — insurance that they will be paid in other words — on financial instruments in which they have no financial interest. We will build a giant gambling casino on top of our usurious fiat money scheme. Huge beyond imagining. The entire thing will eventually collapse. The destruction? Beyond imagining. You get the idea.[16]

To this end we will ensure that public and corporate policies encourage the personal misfortunes of ordinary people and small businesses (the disaster lottery slot machines). This will ensure enormous profits for our friends running the casino. When the scale of the problem threatens to finally close the casino, we will pay off and/or bribe the politicians to bail us out by threatening to close the casino.[17] We are too big to fail. This will make everything worse for the citizens. When their currency finally becomes worthless and they face hopelessness and utter despair, we will force them to accept our one world currency.[18]

Since we make our currency out of thin air, we need to back it with a commodity. We have decided to stick with oil for now, since everyone still uses it and we know where most of it is. We’ll have to control all the oil, or at least the vast majority of it, for our plan to work.[19] We will convince them we’re running out and that we’re keeping the fact a secret.[20] The Iranians have been the only people to outwit our diabolical debt trap so far, and they also have a lot of oil, so we have to bomb their oil fields, somehow, and control them lest they wreck our plans.[21] But since they haven’t started a war in several hundred years, this will require a major advertising campaign. They must be thrown under the bus. Big Time.

Greatest Hits: The War on Terror

A side: Lots of dance tunes here, kind of a remix. A little bit people hate us for our freedoms, a little bit Islam is a violent religion. Riffs of Arabs and especially Iranians want to wipe Israel off the map, al Qaeda will never stop trying to kill us, we have to fight them over there so we don’t have to fight them over here. We have a Clash of Civilizations, it’s not that you did anything wrong really these people just can’t be reasoned with, it’s hopeless, just waiting for Armageddon (chorus), etc.[22]

Dance step: Give up your privacy so we can be safe.[23] Expect inconveniences and limitations in your travel so we can be safe.[24] Please mind your neighbors’ business so we can be safe.[25] Support Our Troops so we can be safe. Vote Republican so we can be safe.[26]

B side: OK we need to distract “the folks” with a really bad enemy, a new Pearl Harbor or two, and some never-ending wars fueled by diabolically persistent terrorists who always manage to slip away.[27] Some of our people will definitely die, and a lot of foreigners will definitely die, but you gotta break some eggs to make an omelet. Right? Right.[28] We’ll pay off who we need to pay off. We have the money.

Liner notes: We expect to kick this off in the early millennium, say around 2001. Let’s say a memorable date like 9/11. We expect the financial problems to have metastasized but it won’t be obvious yet. We need to get these people cowering in fear, get them to submit to our authority so that we can plunder them and distract them and keep them busy fighting each other and everyone else. Divide and conquer. We can trust Bush the ass to squander any good will quickly, but we won’t admit it, causing bitter acrimony.[29] Of course we will never deliver the security we promise in exchange for their sacrifices. The fools. We’ll even telegraph this plan years in advance, but it won’t make any difference.[30] The War on Terror will fulfill a primary strategic goal: redrawing the map of the Middle East, which ensures our ultimate goal: Israel’s world hegemony. The United States shall supply all the labor and materiel. It’s true that many Americans will be expended, but there are too many people on the planet, and a lot of them must go, especially the poor brown ones living on top of valuable natural resources like oil and minerals, but not only them. We have to keep it “believable.”[31]

Besides oil, we also need to control other resources in the ground like gold, diamonds, etc. It’s not enough to control the money because the money is just paper.[32] It must be tied to a commodity, and all the good commodities reside in the earth. So geology will determine where the war on terror crops up. Our intelligence operatives will seed conflicts as needed around the world to create pretexts for military force.[33] These conflicts will bring about death, displacement and terror, allowing us to control the natural resources while having the advantage of chipping away at the population.

Greatest Hits: Climate Change

A side: You people are killing the planet! Just ask our scientists.[34]

Dance step: Stop having babies! Stop eating! Stop living! Recycle! Reduce your carbon footprint![35] Haha we can still make fun of Al Gore![36]

B side: Guilt. Guilt guilt guilt.[37] We’ll lie about the science,[38] we’ll mess with the weather using our secret weather modification technologies and chemtrails, we’ll terrify the children with dire predictions of their futures underwater.[39] Green will be the new religion.[40] Hollywood will help us out here, just like in the War on Terror, with tremendous special effects in terrifying movies and on slick websites.[41]

Liner notes: While we focus on things under the ground, we shall consistently direct the world’s attention up in the sky. The climate. It’s…changing! And….it’s all the fault of human beings!! [42]We will start this brainwashing early and run it alongside the bubble economy. That way, by encouraging excessive consumption, we can browbeat them senseless for it later. Their children will despise them. Mwahaha. Our scientists will be sure to find that humans cause global warming, especially fat humans.[43] Our think tanks, always so important, will paint apocalyptic scenarios of the horrific consequences of climate change: fighting over scarce resources, failed states, refugees, and so forth. Of course these scenarios will require military interventions to move people to “safety” (away from the valuable underground resources) while degrading their ability to create sustainable lives and simultaneously imposing and stressing the lives of their new host communities.[44] In fact, dire climate change scenarios will “shift liability for wars and human rights abuses away from oppressive, corrupt governments.” [45] Exactly! Between blaming pollution on humans, and a few “enhanced” natural disasters thrown in, which of course we will call Acts of God (wink wink!), we have the perfect alibi for enslaving humanity. And all the while we will withhold life-saving technological advances.[46]

Greatest Hits: Disease and Global Pandemics

A side: The world is deadly. Cancer might get you. Or AIDS. Or some flesh eating bacteria. Scientists, brilliant as they are, seem to be losing the fight against disease.[47] If we’re not careful, some virus will mutate into a killer and wipe out millions, maybe billions. It could start anywhere, at anytime.[48] There’s nothing you can really do. Well, maybe a few things.

Dance step: You probably already have a disease and you don’t even know it. Get yourself to the doctor and get on some pharmaceuticals. Get your “damn vaccine.”[49] Make sure your children get thirty shots or so before they turn six.[50] It’s for the good of everybody. Check your BMI and obsess over that number.[51] Get in shape. Spend money at a gym. Enroll in a diet program. Torment yourself. Eat this food. Eat that food. Don’t smoke no matter how addictive we make those wads.[52] Drink alcohol. Take some anxiety meds, you look pretty stressed.[53] Be sure to worry, a lot, about the invisible germs you can’t see coming to get you. Sterilize your family and your household.[54] Block the sun’s rays from touching your skin at all times.[55]

B side: We really need to kill a lot of people quickly without wrecking the environment with nuclear waste, because we do want to send our people in to extract resources and also we’d like to be able to go anywhere we want to when this is over. It’s our planet. We paid for it.[56]

Liner notes: Killing poses no problem, you see. We’ve been doing that for years. But to kill a lot of people efficiently, quickly, and to get away with it, well, that takes a special kind of disaster. We will create a deadly pandemic and release it accidentally.[57] After building anxiety about this over a period of years, we will whip them into hysteria and inject poison into their veins with our vaccines. It will be an unfortunate series of events, very regrettable, but all completely deniable under the rubric of preparedness and good intentions.[58] We will be totally prepared for mass casualties, which we hope to occur, at long last.[59]

We’d like to thank our sponsors:

We fund our secret operations with laundered money from human trafficking, drug trafficking, and weapons trafficking. These business models weaken and debase the populations, embroil them in conflicts, and drain their money into our pockets.[60] We have dossiers on everyone we need to control. We know all their weaknesses, which we have exploited. They can’t open their mouths without getting torpedoed. Ask Eliot Spitzer.[61]

Hegelian Mindfuck Records. All rights reserved.

So I’m one of those off-beat characters who collects B sides. Personally, I got sick of listening to the A sides. The records are all scratched up. They skip. The sound quality is terrible.[62] Have you ever noticed? But you know, the B sides are in pristine condition because hardly anyone plays them. Lots of people collect them and pass them around, usually for free. You just have to know who to ask.

Can you imagine if more people stopped dancing and listened to the B sides? We can take those lousy scratched up A side records and encase them in a museum exhibit, and never listen to them again. We can put this rotten record company out of business forever. And we can live in peace.


[1] Some dare call it conspiracy! Are you among them? by Zahir Ebrahim, Atlantic Free Press, April 23, 2009. Also see: None Dare Call It Conspiracy, by Gary Allen. Chapter 1. Both writers reference the work of Carroll Quigley, Tragedy and Hope: A History of the World in our Time.

[2] Not Everyone Should Own a Home, WSJ, October 6, 2008.

[3] Fed learning from its mistakes, Rosengren says, MarketWatch, December 3, 2009.

[4] Decade in Review - A Wild Ride in Personal Finance, NYT, December 18, 2009.

[5] Banks ramp up pay packages to top talent, WSJ, July 16, 2009.

[6] Greenspan Admits Errors to Hostile House Panel, WSJ, October 24, 2008.

[7] How to Recession-Proof Your Career, WSJ, January 29, 2008.

[8] Immigrants hit hard by slowdown, subprime crisis, Reuters, January 30, 2008.

[9] Geithner prevailed on Obama bailout plan, NYT, February 10, 2009.

[10] Who owns the Fed?

[11] Extraordinary Times, Intentional Collapse, and Takedown of the USA, Richard C. Cook, Global Research, April 30, 2008.

[12] Interview with Web of Debt author Ellen Brown, The Daily Bell, August 23, 2009.

[13] The Mess Greenspan Leaves, Stefan Karlsson, Ludwig von Mises Institute, December 26, 2005.

[14] Plea to reduce demand for dollar reserves, Financial Times, November 11, 2009.

[15] Bankers might be feeling public’s wrath — literally, The Raw Story, December 10, 2009.

[16] Credit default swaps - the insane problem and the radical but insane solution, The Geronimo Manifesto, September 24, 2008.

[17] Bernanke Says Failure to Pass Plan Threatens Economy, Bloomberg, September 23, 2008.

[18] US Hyperinflation a Real Risk - China Proposes Alternative Reserve Currency, Money Energy, March 29, 2009.

[19] Not Oil, But Dollars vs. Euros, Global Policy Forum, March 2003.

[20] The Peak Oil Scam (pdf)

[21] Behind the drums of war with Iran: Nuclear weapons of compound interest, by Ellen Brown, Global Research, November 13, 2007.

[22] Fox News. CNN News. ABC News. CBS News. MSNBC News.

[23] Democrats Make Dangerous Revisions to Patriot Act, Newsmax, October 5, 2009.

[24] 150 more full-body scanners to go into US airports, CNN, December 31, 2009.

[25] Citizen Corps: Programs and Partnerships, FEMA.

[26] Republicans seek political advantage, Financial Times, December 29, 2009.

[27] The Mega-Lie Called the “War on Terror”: A Masterpiece of Propaganda, Richard W. Behan, Alternet, September 27, 2007.

[28] “A Second 911″: An Integral Part of US Military Doctrine, Michel Chossudovsky, Global Research, October 31, 2008.

[29] The Myth of “Squandered Sympathy”, John Rosenthal, WSJ, October 14, 2004.

[30] A Clean Break: A New Strategy for Securing the Realm, by Richard Perle, et. al. 1996. Also see: 1996: Neocons deliver report to Israel: Remove Saddam.

[31] Overpopulation & terrorism: rats in a cage, John Omaha, Culture Change.

[32] One World Currency (with addendum), James Shanahan, Winter Patriot, April 23, 2009.

[33] UN: Act to End Atrocities in Eastern Congo, Human Rights Watch, December 13, 2009. Also see: Rwandan Genocide Militia has Global Support Network - UN, Philippine Inquirer, November 25, 2009.

[34] Human race is killing planet, says Meacher, Guardian, February 14, 2003.

[35] Reducing Your Carbon Footprint, ABC News, June 7, 2006.

[36] Al Gore’s ‘Inconvenient Truth’? - A $30,000 Utility Bill, ABC News, February 26, 2007.

[37] How reputation could save the Earth, David Rand and Martin Nowak, New Scientist, November 15, 2009.

[38] ClimateGate: The Fix is In, Robert Tracinski, Real Clear Politics, November 24, 2009.

[ 39] Environmental Warfare: Climate Modification Schemes, by Spencer Weart. Global Research, December 5, 2009.

[40] Klaus Says Global Warming “New Religion”, James Heiser, New American, December 22, 2009.

[41] The IHC: Preparing the World for 2012.

[42] Humans Linked to Climate Change: NASA study links earth impacts to human-caused climate change, published as a NASA news release in May 2008, in

[43] Scientists: Humans ‘very likely’ cause global warming, CNN, April 29, 2007. Also see: Thinner is better to curb global warming, study says, CNN, April 20, 2009.

[44] Immigration has ‘deeply unsettled’ Britian, Telegraph, April 18, 2007.

[45] The New Myth About Climate Change, by Idean Salehyan, Foreign Policy, August 2007.

[46] Energy Technology Suppression, Christopher Walter.

[47] Hospitals ‘losing fight against superbugs’, Telegraph, July 9, 2008.

[48] Flu strains circulate for years before becoming a pandemic, USA Today, July 13, 2009.

[49] Dr. Nancy Snyderman on MSNBC

[50] Institute for Vaccine Safety, Recommended Immunization Schedule, Ages 0-6 Years, United States, 2009. John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health.

[51] Healthy Weight: It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle! CDC

[52] Cigarettes ‘engineered’ for addiction, BBC, date unknown.

[53] Number of Americans taking antidepressants doubles, USA Today, August 4, 2009.

[54] Firms Look to Prevent Swine Flu Pandemic, Turn a Profit, ABC News, April 28, 2009.

[55] Don’t Forget the Suncreen — Every Day, American Cancer Society, May 8, 2003.

[56] Nuclear war would wreck climate say scientists, (Environmental Data Interactive Exchange), December 13, 2006.

[57] Baxter: Product contained live bird flu virus, The Toronto Sun, February 27, 2009

[58] CDC to mix avian, human flu viruses in pandemic study, CIDRAP, January 14, 2004.

[59] Senator proposes free flu shots for all Americans, Reuters, May 1, 2009. Also see: Governors take steps to safeguard continuity of government during a pandemic outbreak, National Governors’ Association news release, February 19, 2009. Also see: International Swine Flu Conference brochure, August 19-21, 2009, Washington DC.

[60] US forces mounted secret Pakistan raids in hunt for al-Qaida, The Guardian, December 21, 2009.

[61] Spitzer taken down by Mossad? by Jerry Mazza, Online Journal, March 14, 2008.

[62] Goldman Sachs and others investigated for betting against securities they created, AllGov, December 27, 2009. Also see: Evidence mounts for US complicity in terrorism, Gordon Duff, Veterans Today, December 29, 2009. Also see: The lynchpin of the Global Warming movement has broken: The myth of neutral academic peer review, Gary North, December 7, 2009. Also see: Summary of the swine flu criminal case, Jane Burgermeister, The Flu Case, August 27, 2009.